Amanda
Is not the type of girl
Who needs to sit back
And analyze a situation
Before concluding on
A decision
Amanda
Is the type of girl
Who enjoys a good conversation
But won’t pretend to have one
Amanda
Does not think all that much
In the sense
Where she knows immediately
What decision to make
And the process of her
Additional consideration
Is merely an excuse
To further cement her position
She is not the type of girl
To fall for any tricks
She values genuine people and generosity
Being a pretty girl
A fact of which she is aware
There were many opportunities
For dates
In high school
But Amanda was known to focus
Mostly on her studies
Her dream of being a teacher
Coming before any other
Superfluous endeavor
No
Amanda did not consider herself boring
She simply believed
In time well spent
Instead of wasted
She never asked questions in class
Paying attention when it was said the first time
During gym class she just shot free throws
By herself
Refusing to stop until she made fifteen in a row
A loner?
Well
Amanda never thought of it that way
She had a close relationship with her parents
But lonely?
Maybe, maybe
Nahhh
Look, it wasn’t like she didn’t have friends
Sometimes she just had trouble relating
When Julie, for instance
Her closest teenage confidant
Would cry
Actually cry
Can you believe it?
About her boyfriend doing something
Repulsive, or even a little insensitive
Why, Amanda would have to fight the urge to say
“Are you stupid? Don’t you know Pete by now?
Pete is a screw-up. Pete screws up.
That’s what he does.”
Instead of doing that
Saying that
Though
Amanda would remain silent and let her friend
Talk
She was called a good listener
Appreciated that, though sometimes she
Just read books while they aired telephone confessions
As time moved along
And Amanda’s dream of being
In charge of a classroom grew closer
She began pondering the big picture
Far more than she used to
It seemed at the onset of her twenties
All those mistakes of bought on by
Overthinking and rationalizing committed
By her friends suddenly became
Accidents she could relate to
Amanda concluded we all just want a reason
To believe. Even if we have to look
Within the wrong people.
Was it worth the effort?
She did not know
So in her senior year of college she played along
Opened up
Drank some beer
Made some mistakes
Questioned everything
Lost focus
Dated two liars in a row
The second one really broke her heart
She hated herself for going against
Everything she used to believe in
And ironically, full circle
Sobbed about it on the phone to Julie
Who had followed Pete to Los Angeles
She felt better when Julie explained
Pete’s latest crimes
It was right around this time
That she was dragged to an indie rock concert
In a bar, off campus
Grimy as it gets
At the last minute she decided to go
And that night
She met a man
Who seemed incapable of telling a lie
He was without pretension
Obviously nervous everywhere
Except on the stage where she first saw him
Henry, Amanda
On the surface
All wrong for each other,
But they knew better
Suddenly
Life’s happening!
All those plans
Are real
And it doesn’t feel perfect
Though that’s fine
Amanda is the type of girl
Who couldn’t understand
When fate interceded
With a reversal
So cruel
She lost a part of herself
And shut the world down
Refusing to deal with a place
Capable of such
Inexplicable meanness
Henry quit his band
Quit telling the truth, too
Here we are
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