Category Archives: poetry

Holy Summer Night

 

Somewhere Between

 

Lucky and free

Off the train

And onto the scene

The thick trees smile

Forever, they may be

The air tastes like life

And the stars are your private canopy

Resting atop a fabulous melody

This moment is a memory

Oh, holy summer night

I stay alive

To feel your light

Oh, holy summer night

I stay alive

To love your light

Above and beneath

Nothing to be

Surviving a dream

Called reality

Stay awhile, with your pit bull smile

Forever, we shall be

The air tastes like life

And the stars are ours to see

Guiding us toward

Life’s desire fait accompli

This moment is a memory

We are a memory

Oh, holy summer night

I stay alive

To feel your light

Oh, holy summer night

I stay alive

To love this night


Is This How It’s Supposed to Feel

Amber, forgot how to smile unconsciously
She ran into grammar school friends asking
Remember me, her life shifted into a maddening, subtle frequency

Bobby never considered interior anguish
Then his leg broke on fourth down in the afternoon when his
Dream was vanquished, and alcohol suddenly felt like a pile of warm blankets

They met beside a keg on top of wet grass
It was Friday night and the moon hung low and red
Skeleton romance, the confused youths they do a desperate ghost dance

They sing
Is this
How it’s
Supposed to
Feel

Was what I felt
Was it something real
Is real
How we’re supposed
To feel

Amanda, hoped to impress strangers with a false sense of certainty
She considered herself on trial, engulfed in shyness and shame
Permanently, and when they whispered in a crowd she wondered ‘’are they plotting to hurt me?”

Bobby ripped confidence from an invisible cloud
In front of his imagined enemy’s face
Proud and pumping violent grace

They kept each other company atop a soft bed
It was Saturday morning and Bobby
Caressed her pounding head, nothing was delivered and nothing was said

But they were both thinking
Is this
How it’s
Supposed to
Feel

Was what I felt
Was it something real
Is real
How we’re supposed
To feel

Dream
Walking
In a dream
How often are we
Walking
In a dream
Our expectation and reality
Are they independent
Or part of the same the same the same the same the same
Machinery
Or is it a dream
is it a dream
Is it a dream
A scene
A dream
A scene
A dream

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Good Conversation

Denial is exile
Evaporating upon revisiting the half wake
State
Where ideas and dreams
Thoughts and reality
Begin interlocking
Something is knocking
Rapping upon my door
While I continue searching the floor
For something more
Besides dust and skeletal remains
Of dull ancient pains
Opening a bare cupboard
Where the past does reside
And my dangerous romanticism does hide
Analyzing events long vanished
Into the foggy haze of history
Looking backward is a physical act
Resulting in a loss of momentum
I have this reoccurring tendency to become frozen
Wondering what could have been done
To prevent what has already been
And all the while
The art is whispering
True love like perfection
An idea realized elegantly
Justice done to a righteous thought
Without a bone being bruised
Or an item being bought
Like a Van Gogh painting
Starry, starry night
The mind taking delight
At beauty so obvious
That even an atheist and devout religious
Individual could positively agree
That life is worth living and consciousness itself
Is in fact a miracle surpassing all rational understanding and understated
Intellectual discussions
Over beers with peers
While surveying the wasteland separating
Entrenched opinions and misled men
Lobbing grenades without venturing beyond the lines
To see if their designated opponent would like to play a game
Share a smile
Instead of continuing an argument while ignoring
The absolute flawlessness of Moonrise
Or the impeccable optical illusion of a Barry Zito curveball
How if one simply recognizes the fact that they are indeed breathing
And capable of performing a task so well that it is personally enjoyed
And publicly appreciated
That this fact alone proves this world can make sense
And we all might have destiny
That ends in a sunset
And if not then maybe at least
A moment where the complexity is at least recognized
So here I am
Inhabiting strange terrain
I am simply typing but my skin is electric
I am simply typing but my eyes are sparkling
I am simply typing but beautiful blue streams are passing through
A suddenly enlivened peripheral perspective
Which can be altered respective
To the contentment of my heart
And the fulfillment of my job
To thoroughly and originally
Write and connect and inspire which requires
Peace of mind and the relinquishment of negativity
And wallowing
What’s occurred is gone
The present moment never left
Maybe my problems are similar to yours
Maybe you have your own cross to haul
Maybe we are similar
Or only identical in total difference
And yet here I sit
Seeking an explanation
For your presence
In my private little world
Where we have become the dream
And you are welcome
So very welcome
To join me
For a good conversation


Confession

His name is Frankie Slade

He looks out his apartment window

Pondering everything that he

Does not know

 

Yeah, Frankie stares idly

At the traffic choked street

And swallows a second glass of defeat

 

Frankie walks down the stairs

And outside the door

Frankie was always pining

For something more

 

At seven the cars begin

To vanish heading toward invisible homes

Where people live alone

 

Frankie approaches the church

Passing through the thick nighttime ether

Hadn’t felt the flame of flesh in a long time,

Of love and security he knew neither

 

The priest listens quietly

While Frankie bares his soul

The emotions flow and the moment is in control

 

Chorus:

Faraway

They always say

Where the answers lay

Stay away

They always say

Keep your feelings at bay

Frankie only feels free while confessing his sins

Frankie only feels free while confessing his sins

 

His name is Frankie Slade

He stares down upon his work desk

Eyes wide though he never gets

Enough rest

 

Unless he has three glasses of wine

Before bed, but this was OK

That’s what they said

 

Frankie leaves the job

Again failing to ask for her number

His lips quiver with anticipation

Body anticipates the slumber

 

Nightmares are warning signs

He was taught, daydreams are discarded

The solutions are bought

 

Frankie passes by the church

Sweatshirt hood hanging over his eyes

Someone anonymous must have the answer

And time to sort through the lies

 

He rested upon his knee

To say a prayer

And felt the wind sweeping through his jet black hair

 

Chorus:

Faraway

They always say

Where the answers lay

Stay away

They always say

Keep your feelings at bay

 

Frankie only feels free while confessing his sins

Frankie only feels free while confessing his sins


Enclosure

There was a man walking down the street–He was wearing a long black overcoat –Feet underneath rushing along cracked cement –Holding three boxes stacked one over another –The tops nearly falling off –He stumbled attempting to maintain balance –Mumbling about manuscripts and broken promises–The day was fading and the clouds were a fine shade of gray –He was approaching a dead-end –That doubled as a view to the nearby harbor –No one could deny the sea was black–Rejecting reflection–He reached his destination –The waves were violent –Cascading and exploding –Suggesting a riptide –Paradox and death without answers –He asked a question, quietly, to himself–He wasn’t even meant to hear–It was then he dropped the boxes –Onto the cold damp ground –Pages spilled forth –Pouring ceaseless –The work of a lifetime –Flying into the wind –The man raised his arms –Amidst the swirling stationary–Disappeared entirely absorbed–Finally finding truth–In the final chapter–Of a book that he could never get published.

There was a woman running through a forest –Past rotting tree stumps and protruding drain lines –She was wearing black dress — Flinging a wedding ring without slowing her pace–Her soul could escape upward and explode –A celestial firework show –A new constellation –The flowers gazed –When they whispered she often listened –It was too late for thoughts–Reconciliation a foregone station–Beyond betrayed surface waves–Belonging to another’s mind sea–She came to the edge of a cliff–Legs still churning before stopping–Her heart slowed by the sight of a sunset–The streams flowing down her face –Evaporated in pure orange–She eyed the sky–Admiring fractured cloud strands leading to a rainbow–It was then she begin to spin–Beyond the speed of light—A transforming window–An ethereal entryway—Through which joy may be delivered–And peace discovered–As nature leapt forth from her trail–There was a sun shower–That left the town delirious.

There was a teenager–Who breathed hellfire fumes–From his perch on the tenement fire escape–He saw a world disintegrating–While nobody seemed to care–About the contagious apocalypse–Armageddon and daily judgment night–When street heroes would be slain–By those who both worshipped and loathed them–Amid this chaos and confusion–Order was a crime–Intelligence a weakness–For his whole life–All the teenager wanted were friends–He had a father who hit him–And a mother who was dead–Dad was hardly around–Unfolding his own transient legend–The cement hearted brigade–Dying in violent red flashes –Same as they lived–The teenager had seen the shadow of death and felt a light inside resisting–His proud heart was a shield–His fragile ego a trap–He was willing to let go–If only he had a home–Of his own–Away from the sad comforting laughter–Of familiar doomed friends–They were playing a game–On a hot summer afternoon–When tempers flared –Strangers turned a rival faction– Kids mutating into temporary sentries–Drawing cannons–Acceptable insanity–The teenager in the middle–As he had always anticipated–How many days had he thought of it–Practically tasted it–Alone in his tiny room–Gazing through a cracked window–Squinting against broken shards of sun –At a crumbling empire beyond repair–But before the revolver could fire–It was then he was lifted off the ground–Some sort of never ending underlying love–Carried him away–On a gold carpet he saw in vague dreams–That felt like they lasted years–It let off light unbearably bright–Soon enveloped and gone–With its passenger–Free from the enclosure.

 


My Enemy on the fourth of July

My enemy hides
In analysis
It melds
With rationality
To present itself
As reasonable
Despite having no basis
In reality
It is clever and cunning
Occasionally driving my emotion
Deeper than the deepest oceans
Inescapable like a cupboard closing
I am trapped
And forced to accept
The seconds of panic
Minutes of doubt
Hours of sadness
There’s nowhere to run
Can’t escape my own skin
And the temporary release of alcohol?
Now I see the lie
No, a cloud cannot escape the sky
And I must love my mind
Even, sometimes, when it doesn’t feel
Like mine
You are not my enemy, mind
My enemy is the enemy
The enemy is unkind
My unkindness toward my mind
My impatience
My fear over those loud, harmless fireworks
Because everyday in my brain
It’s the fourth of July
Oh mercy
Mercy, mercy
Mercy
Help me love


Art and Commerce

Underneath the sun kissed canopy 
Where do you start? 
You’re an artist baby 
Need to find a dealer 
Avoid the dream stealers 

An argument for the impressionist 
The vassal has passed his apprenticeship 
Give him a chance for recognition 
Like a scholarship 
Lest his purpose be lost 

Well you try and try 
To bring the truth out 
Or at least inspire 
People to live without 
The crutches they make so 
Dutifully for themselves 
The expectations that 
Leave us lost 

It’s plain to find 
You and I 
In different centuries 
With opposite personalities 
Due to the conditions that create identity 
So what’s left but kindness? 
And appreciating diversity 
The thirst for success need not put us under duress 
Keep painting man. Don’t opt for death in the gutter 
Mouth leaking absinthe 
Because they couldn’t see 

And neither could you

See the dream you pursued 
For the undeniable proof 
Of your genius and uniqueness 
Will belong to the other 
That you created inside 
Whether the fame, the attention 
Or the person representing status 
In your mind 
You will never be free 
Errantly keeping pace 
With this mockery of reality 
The pedestals 
Be you, be you, be you 
Despite our neediness 
We survive 
You can deal with life 
Even if it was not the one you expected 
Because that’s all life is 
The unintended consequence 


Amanda

Amanda

Is not the type of girl

Who needs to sit back

And analyze a situation

Before concluding on

 A decision

Amanda

Is the type of girl

Who enjoys a good conversation

But won’t pretend to have one

 

Amanda

Does not think all that much

In the sense

Where she knows immediately

What decision to make

And the process of her

Additional consideration

Is merely an excuse

To further cement her position

 

She is not the type of girl

To fall for any tricks

She values genuine people and generosity

 

Being a pretty girl

A fact of which she is aware

There were many opportunities

For dates

In high school

But Amanda was known to focus

Mostly on her studies

Her dream of being a teacher

Coming before any other

Superfluous endeavor

 

No

Amanda did not consider herself boring

She simply believed

In time well spent

Instead of wasted

She never asked questions in class

Paying attention when it was said the first time

During gym class she just shot free throws

By herself

Refusing to stop until she made fifteen in a row

A loner?

Well

Amanda never thought of it that way

She had a close relationship with her parents

But lonely?

Maybe, maybe

Nahhh

 

Look, it wasn’t like she didn’t have friends

Sometimes she just had trouble relating

When Julie, for instance

Her closest teenage confidant

Would cry

Actually cry

Can you believe it?

About her boyfriend doing something

Repulsive, or even a little insensitive

Why, Amanda would have to fight the urge to say

“Are you stupid? Don’t you know Pete by now?

Pete is a screw-up. Pete screws up.

That’s what he does.”

Instead of doing that

Saying that

Though

Amanda would remain silent and let her friend

Talk

She was called a good listener

Appreciated that, though sometimes she

Just read books while they aired telephone confessions

 

As time moved along

And Amanda’s dream of being

In charge of a classroom grew closer

She began pondering the big picture

Far more than she used to

It seemed at the onset of her twenties

All those mistakes of bought on by

Overthinking and rationalizing committed

By her friends suddenly became

Accidents she could relate to

Amanda concluded we all just want a reason

To believe. Even if we have to look

Within the wrong people.

Was it worth the effort?

She did not know

So in her senior year of college she played along

Opened up

Drank some beer

Made some mistakes

Questioned everything

Lost focus

Dated two liars in a row

The second one really broke her heart

She hated herself for going against

Everything she used to believe in

And ironically, full circle

Sobbed about it on the phone to Julie

Who had followed Pete to Los Angeles

She felt better when Julie explained

Pete’s latest crimes

 

It was right around this time

That she was dragged to an indie rock concert

In a bar, off campus

Grimy as it gets

At the last minute she decided to go

And that night

She met a man

Who seemed incapable of telling a lie

He was without pretension

Obviously nervous everywhere

Except on the stage where she first saw him

Henry, Amanda

On the surface

 All wrong for each other,

But they knew better

Suddenly

Life’s happening!

All those plans

Are real

And it doesn’t feel perfect

Though that’s fine

Amanda is the type of girl

Who couldn’t understand

When fate interceded

With a reversal

So cruel

She lost a part of herself

And shut the world down

Refusing to deal with a place

Capable of such

Inexplicable meanness

Henry quit his band

Quit telling the truth, too

Here we are


Sharing Air

Sidewalk swinging toward the pond

Where we walk outside the time in my mind

Your eyes lied when you claimed you were blind

 

All these buildings occasionally a mystery

I may have been alive in a different century

Or it could have been a false dream of me

Like history

 

The ending started at the beginning

When my last expectation flickered in the wind

Helpless and harmless like a hollow can of tin

 

I never knew, how to capture a moment’s breath

Whether written on a page

Or standing on a stage

When the actors know what to expect

 

Life we cannot replicate

Though we should appreciate

The effort it takes to deviate

From the absent minded climb

To nowhere

 

It was never my intent to demonize

Criticize, or lionize

But to my surprise

You pick a side even when

You never wanted to cross the line

Just by being someone

 

There is a difference we know

Between delving into violence 

And walking away in silence

 

And that separate, sane moment existed

In the seconds we disregarded

While retracing where the trouble started

 

Placing blame instead of tending to a flame

We can stop the game

Just by recognizing, we are breathing the same 

The same way 


New York

A concrete palace of loving malice 
Cloaked in transience 
Themes of dreams interrupted by car alarms 
And invisible ambience 

Ice winter silver snow sliver 
Dances onto chilled flesh and marrow 
Then high summer sun frames foreign structures 
In Van Gogh shadow 

To realize in eyes 
Belonging to another tourist of the fall 
Where we were meant little 
Who we were with meant it all 

Image


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