The Journalist

 

We were crossing the street/You said it was yours/The parks, avenues, and alleyways/You told me true love/Is a sense of place

I wrote it down/It’s my career/Those are my words between the advertisements/ I’m the substance beyond the veneer.

I’m like you/ Owing reality seven payments/Are we so different/Should you judge/My artistic estrangement

(chorus)

You cute little romantic/You said I stole/Do you deserve a merit badge/For trying to fill you soul’s hole.

I guess I wouldn’t need to keep you honest/If you didn’t have to hate my existence/As an inconvenience to your passion play/ You’re the kind of person who tells someone to go/When you want to beg them to stay/


To Play

Actors, athletes, writers and painters

Policemen, lawyers, fire fighters

Does the mind assessing those groups

See them as grouped and feel

A different feeling while

Assessing each

What is the difference?

Between the two groups?

Why assume they are groups at all?

Immediately

Maybe it’s just a bunch of words

Coincidentally placed together

A meaning from meaninglessness

Created because meaninglessness is such

A lame old time

 

Did you see an actor standing next to an

Athlete on a street corner, both of them bumming cigarettes

From a writer who needed to run home quickly because

His mother is folding his clothes and that idea

About chapter five could actually work

So why not ditch the coffee and lend these two

Similar people cigarettes

 See, they must be similar

But are an actor and athlete, similar?

Well, is it because how they look?

Is it the familiarity of their aura?

Are they known?

Are they celebrities?

Did they want this?

Was it their destiny to be

Thrown

Together

In the dictionary of meaning

 

Well, they play, don’t they?

 

They sit and play and think and dream

They throw their bodies around

And they accept cigarettes from writers with knowing nods

As if to say, hey

We’re from the same planet, aren’t we?

The actor says to the writer, you know

We stood together at Toot’s Shor in 1950

Right next to this guy, yeah this guy

See, it’s Joe DiMaggio, and we’re distant cousins

And it’s because we play

And that doesn’t necessarily make us more important

But it may make us more interesting

Then Toots spilled a beer onto my shoe

The athlete said, and we all laughed together

Oh, DiMaggio, said the painter

Who had been observing the scene, you see

He had been analyzing the angles, and the way the sun

Reflected off DiMaggio’s fedora in that certain way

That made him appear like an Italian Knight on temporary leave

From his mission ordered by the Pope

To give hope to the nation through

The exuberance of running down a fly ball

Before crashing into the monuments in center field

Oh, DiMaggio, said the painter

You’re beautiful

I don’t know about interesting?

I mean, from a level of pure human behavior

Could it be said with certainty that DiMaggio has a more interesting career

Than a policeman, patrolling the streets for intoxicated civilians

Who vomit on their personal page of American History and are looking

For a fight

As means for transcendence?

Is he really more interesting than a doctor, or better yet, a surgeon?

Yeah, a surgeon, they are doctors, too?

Is he really more interesting than a surgeon tasked with removing

A bullet from the brain of a victim

On Saturday?

Is he really more interesting?

 

Well, I suppose if the perceptions of society were removed

Said the writer, who looked like a cross between a ghost and

A shadow

I suppose if the perceptions of society were removed

We’d all have to agree that we’re equally interesting

After all, a person can only go on living

Due entirely to conditions entirely beyond his control

Way

One second early or late

One moment of anger

One accident

One reflex action

One little step on the metaphorical land mine of odds

One singular slip

And we’re gone

Where?

Who the hell knows?

Danger is so ever-present

That humor was created as a coping mechanism

Hey, you can’t say that for sure

Says DiMaggio

You can’t say that with certainty

You’re right, said the writer

It’s conjecture, but who are you to say anyway?

You don’t have a sense of humor

Anyway, says the painter

I get the sense that you might be trying to express

The fallacy of vulnerability

Something about consequences being unavoidable

And all we can do is react

The best we can

No, I was just trying to say

It’s a certainty that

Eventually

We won’t be here

Standing on this Manhattan street corner

After midnight

We won’t be able to talk to a friend

In a fedora trying to do something special with his life

We won’t be able to talk to ourselves

 

So, are you saying we should really do nothing?

Says the painter

That it’s wrong to try?

No, I’m saying it’s wrong

It’s wrong to be afraid

Fear is inevitable, says DiMaggio

That’s why we have policeman

Lawyers

Fire fighters

I’m just wondering

Said the writer

If I’m keeping track or

Getting swallowed up

You didn’t mention religion

Said the painter

Who, me, mention?

You know, at the beginning

What beginning?


Now’s Not the time for Sleep

 

Wake up 
Shut the alarm 
Put more things in your body 
That will do you harm

Stagger to shower 
Hot water flow 
Eat a crusty bagel 
DVR your favorite show

Kiss the dog 
On his head 
This job sucks 
But it beats the instead

You got to go 
Got to rush 
Always late 
There’s time to crush

Emily 
Now’s not the time to sleep
Love is near 
But you keep them waiting

Emily 
The hurt’s so deep 
Can’t escape the fear 
It has you frozen/hesitating

Fall down 
Set the alarm 
Pins and needles 
Up and down your arm

Neck is tight 
Feet are tingling 
You’ll just cry 
If the phone starts ringing

Couldn’t watch the show 
Maybe tomorrow 
There’s somebody else’s life
You wish you could borrow

You got to keep going 
Play it to an end 
Wish the stars would align 
And grant you a true friend

Chorus


Ashes, Memory & Mystery


Varsity Blues

Isn’t it funny

How we got older

We would have traded our lives

For the characters in Varsity Blues

To be thirty and in High School

In an imaginary Texas

Where nobody died yesterday 


Holy Summer Night

 

Somewhere Between

 

Lucky and free

Off the train

And onto the scene

The thick trees smile

Forever, they may be

The air tastes like life

And the stars are your private canopy

Resting atop a fabulous melody

This moment is a memory

Oh, holy summer night

I stay alive

To feel your light

Oh, holy summer night

I stay alive

To love your light

Above and beneath

Nothing to be

Surviving a dream

Called reality

Stay awhile, with your pit bull smile

Forever, we shall be

The air tastes like life

And the stars are ours to see

Guiding us toward

Life’s desire fait accompli

This moment is a memory

We are a memory

Oh, holy summer night

I stay alive

To feel your light

Oh, holy summer night

I stay alive

To love this night


Who We Are

 

The Division of Memory

 

It occurred to me… Perhaps everyone has a story to tell… And that the universe… Has been written into our hearts… Like chapters in a never-ending novella… Where page eighty… Becomes page one… Every time a character cries out in… disillusioned existential pain… if every person could be coerced… into a concise response… concerning their presence… on this spinning blue circle dancing… within the framework of a…. incomprehensibly massive… soap bubble… huh… A pure interpretation of life… Perhaps then… the answer would be found… from a billion lips… in thousands of languages… countless voices… even if it were… one… giant… scream… or… a soundless… smile…

 

 

The Past

 

Visiting again? How disappointing. I saw you stagger through the door, searching for old friends amid the ruins of a mirage you never quite understood. Nothing here but broken floorboard planks and the nervous rats scurrying underneath. That old neon sign was shut down long ago, bills never paid. A man in a suit came by and smashed it with a sledgehammer, saying something about brightness paying a price. You want to laugh and escape certain cold questions that have answers deplorable – and rhetorical – this life can sometimes be painful? Good people will often suffer? It burnt upon first consideration, soon replaced by numbness. You began projecting your life unto violent paradox, losing sight of your gifts and opportunities. Hey, this isn’t admonishment, hardly… We all make mistakes. Without them, nobody could learn. But there are no maps here. Yet you come back. You loved this bar. You entered with fake identification, pretending to be somebody else. You liked the intoxicated stranger who inevitably inhabited your body. Your troubled mind became a fading light, insanity embraced, realism replaced. I know; the lies start feeling safe. You can blame, you can objectify, you can idolize, you can falsify, you can patronize. You fancied yourself a libertine, travelling in circles, preaching about how people should never preach, sermonizing chaos. Your emotions have run wild. We all have a bridge to cross, toward a mysterious forest where ideas and perceptions are recalibrated. Those woods have been defined by myth and are shrouded in mist. We can look back instead of stepping forward. After all, it’s easier watching the movie, opposed to playing protagonist. You will remember the past. It can be helpful. But sorry, you can’t live here — Especially without company. I can’t kick you out. But there’s the door. Just past where the goddess used to wait for her prince.

 

The Present

 

You are sitting on a bench facing a beach pondering the current present flow of reality; the past has evaporated into a figment of your imagination. Look straight ahead, gaze at that water, the essential enigma of which we are nearly entirely comprised, sunshine dancing off easy dance waves. The possibilities are infinite yet somehow constrained by an overriding sense of vague destiny amidst chaos created by free will — which without — life would be machinelike and meaningless. And yet… somehow, without feeling that small semblance fate, liberation itself would seem a prison, because some valuable necessities must be predetermined or at least guaranteed on a celestial contract written in stardust by elegant ink bequeathed from the daily pumping veins of an initial thought so outlandishly impossible that it could exist, defying a logical darkness with irrational love. Ah, yes, from the arteries of that unavoidable consequence do our holy emotions pour. Thinking like this is scary. Like the beginning’s sighing over your shoulder, disappointed another one was unable to explain. Relax. Nothingness never existed, because someone was always keeping track. It’s all in your head… while the water flows over the rocks and washes away the imprint of yesterday. Breathe, smile, we have a good view.


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